my sanctuary…

In The Quiet Of The Night.

It’s actually not quiet enough for my liking. My sister’s working on something at another desktop computer, and then there’s the sound of glasses clanking and a wok frying from a nearby roadside eatery.

Not to mention the pulsing disco beats from a passing car. *duh*

Just came back from a wedding dinner more than 2 hours ago. As such, the night somehow feels quite young, the feeling is something like I haven’t been at home long enough for the night before I decidedly turn in.

*silence*

Okay, one might need to be me to fully comprehend that last half sentence. *blink*

Man, this is so going to hurt when I wake up for mass 4 1/2 hours later. I always fall asleep especially during homily. Readings too, if I slept really late the night before.

Like now. Shame on me.

The last time (scroll to the end of that entry to see what I mean, ahem…) I did this, I ended up skipping the Sunday mass altogether. *gulp*

Hopefully it’s the opposite ending this time. *fingers crossed* Though I’m pretty sure I’ll fall asleep again midway through the mass. *blink*

I’m getting it again these few days, the feeling of not wanting to sleep even though I’m truly, seriously sleepy. I don’t know why exactly I get it, but I somehow think it’s got something to do with subliminal anxieties over the troubles in my life, ranging from my own character flaws to problems affecting my loved ones.

Sigh, this is life.

Well, to do justice to what the Lord had blessed me with (and I always believe He has been and always will be on the lookout for me…), my life ain’t bad, this I must say. But I am pretty much bothered by my character flaws most of the time. And some of those flaws make me quite ignorant to problems inflicting my loved ones until I am suddenly reminded out of the blue that the problems are still there.

Problems need to be solved. They don’t just go away on their own.

Sigh.

But leh, procrastinating my bedtime is not doing any good in solving the matter, especially when I’m not really doing anything at all to put an end to it during the supposedly extended time. I know this, yes, I do, yet I still don’t feel like turning in even though the eyelids are drooping like mad. @.@

Or maybe, it’s just a bad habit going haywire. >.<

I am such an idiot.

I’m essentially robbing myself of my health for no apparent solid good reason. *blink*

That’s what most people are doing most of the time, I presume. But that doesn’t make it a right thing to do, does it?

No loh.

Okay, this is going nowhere. I don’t even know if I make any sense typing all these out. Sigh, I’ll turn in now.

Good night, world.

The drizzling rain infuses life into the quiet night. There’s hope… And then, there’s loneliness too.