The idiot did it again. Am so out-of-the-world furious now.

Surprisingly, I’m not shedding any tears. But I am unbelievably dizzy from all the anger and disbelief.

I can tell you this much… Taking deep breaths when you’re seriously pissed doesn’t quite help much.

It makes me feel all the more woozier that I honestly feel like fainting!

It’s not my fault if you’re strapped for cash. Everytime you requested for it, I’ve lent you money without asking any questions or even nagging you (of course, the fact that you paid me back promptly by the next month all this while helped you a lot too). Hey, I’ve been in your salary range before okay, and I very consciously put in effort to save!! You spent more than I did and you at your own free will gave up the profession that could earn you more money, nobody forced you!!

And you’re the one who couldn’t remember when was what.

You might be a better observer (of the things around you) than I am (of the things around me), but you definitely have your blur and forgetful times, okay!!

And you obviously can’t accept it when people say you’re wrong. Not with that ego of yours.

Or perhaps I should say, when I say you’re wrong.

Some of the things you left unattended, you thought I was the one who did it. Remember the boiling empty kettle??

And I came home one day to find the house void of homo sapiens but filled with cooking gas. Because you forgot you were boiling water in the cooking pot and went out without realizing that the boiling water had overflowed and put off the gas stove’s fire, leaving the unburnt gas free to roam!!

The whole flat could have blown up!! Thank and praise the Lord that the house was and is still all in one piece!!

— — — — — — — — —

The wrath has subsided a great deal now, after letting off some steam via MSN to an innocent friend who’d commented on my relevant status message in Facebook, some ice-crunching (literally…) and the latest episode of Naruto Shippuden.

Of course, the fact that the idiot has gone off to bed and is no longer in the room is a great contributor to the superficial peace I feel right now.

I admit I am not a good sister. Neither is she.

Well, in my book, anyway. *what*

I have my quirks and habits. But so does she.

And she’s NOT the only one who’s busy and lazy.

And, we both have this tendency of not letting just anyone get used to relying on us. Especially siblings. As such, we are NOT really very willing to do things for each other. Almost each time we do so, the reaction is as if the other party is owing us big time for the, uh, favor done.

Yeah, I know how that sounds.

You know what they say about some people who just can’t live with each other under the same roof, be it friends, colleagues or family? That’s exactly the case for us.

I should’ve known, I really should’ve known. I should’ve just looked for my own place when I first came here instead of looking her up. Then again, being the coward that I am, I don’t think I would have chosen another route, given the chance to repeat everything all over again.

And, perhaps due to all the quarrels, squabbles and heartaches, I’ve come to learn quite a bit about these two sisters of mine, as well as some, if not all, valuable life lessons along the way. Yeah, another sister used to stay with us, but she got fed up with me and made up her mind to move out despite being an unemployed fresh graduate with a problematic spending habit (read: financially unstable, very willing to spend if she thinks she needs it and has the money for it even though money may be pretty scarce).

In other words, it was moi who inadvertently drove her out of the house. Sigh.

And I’ve come to a couple of bitter conclusions too. Of course, one of them has to be the fact that I very obviously can’t live with any of these two sisters in the same house.

Another conclusion would be, I strongly suspect that I’m the type that is best suited to live alone for the rest of my life.

I know. Morbid, huh.

Maybe it’s just a sudden thought that pops up whenever I feel exasperated with my current predicament. But maybe it’s for real too, so much so I worry I would neglect my own family next time (that is, if I’ll ever have one…) just so that I get all the privacy and space I want (or should I say, need…).

Sigh. I think too much.

But it would be good to try living alone for a while and see how I would like it, no?

In fact, I would’ve done so a few months ago if not for monetary and security concerns. It’ll take quite some time for me to muster enough guts to just move out and deal with the anxieties after that. >.<

In the meantime, I’m miserably stuck with this idiot… I’ll just have to find ways to deal with whatever nonsense the idiot’s going to throw at me.

And I know I’ll continue to feel like I’m being taken for granted again and again. Sh*t.

Please pray for me. Really.

You think you’re the only one who contributed, endured and sacrificed?? Think again!!

It’s not like I didn’t do all those things that you obnoxiously claimed I didn’t do!!

You had your lazy and busy moments too, okay!! The fact that I put up with those and your own antics simply doesn’t register well with you, does it??

I’ve had enough!!

Argue all you want, you seem to enjoy defending yourself so much. None of my business. Gah!!

Sh*t.

It’s a small thing.

But I’m seriously angry!

Don’t even mention the fact that it’s a Monday and I woke up feeling as tired as before I went to sleep as if I hadn’t slept at all when I actually slept earlier…a little!

I should’ve known…it was an OMEN of what was going to happen!

After lunch, I followed my colleagues into this interesting-looking (it is definitely NOT interesting now!) gift cum shoes cum oh-chi-ba-la (read: miscellaneous) (see, it can’t even decide what kind of shop it is! business must be NOT GOOD!) shop.

I was pretty intrigued at first. Until it happened.

Arghhh! Spoiled my mood for the rest of the @#$&^ day!

My colleagues and I were looking at this wall of cute (read: idiotic and stupid) clocks hanging precariously from the kind of steel hooks stores usually use to hang light items, e.g. socks, hair accessories, etc. (warning sirens could have sounded, can’t believe I didn’t noticed! what kind of stupid people use those hooks to hang clocks?!). One ladybug clock (the cursed clock!) was facing the other way, so I tried to turn it around to face us so that we can have a clearer look at it.

Then it dropped. The cursed clock DROPPED!

And the best thing is, it BROKE! The cursed clock @#$&^ BROKE!

It wasn’t really THAT broken. The cursed clock had fake black plastic legs sticking out from the sides stemming from a black plastic free-moving stem at the back, probably to move from side to side simulating a pendulum when the cursed clock is alive (!). The bottom pair of legs broke off from the impact.

I didn’t even realized that there was anything wrong with it. I was about to walk off leaving the clock in the display basket where it dropped into when a suddenly very alert @#$&^ shop assistant came by to check on the cursed thing. And said that I had to pay for the cursed @#$&^ thing!

I of course refused! The cursed thing was hanging precariously WITHOUT any support (some of the clocks actually had nylon strings tied to them for hanging purposes), and there wasn’t any warning sign signalling customers to be careful at all! @#$&^!

Hitherto I still believe I shouldn’t have had to pay for the damage! It wasn’t my fault!!! The cursed thing could have easily dropped when a gust of wind blew it off!!!

When the lady owner was informed of the matter, she came by to see the clock and the first sound she made was, “Tsk.”

I was already very annoyed and angry, disbelief clouding my mind.

She insisted that I pay because the cursed thing was broken (and it broke when it dropped after I tried to turn it around to have a better look at it *roll eyes*), how could she sell it out now? I’m telling you, even if it wasn’t broken, she couldn’t have been able to sell it anyhow. It wasn’t even nice! HRUMPH!!!

Had my colleague not stood in to have a look at the cursed thing and offer to pay at a lower price, I’d have persisted on my innocence (while swallowing back my tears real hard)! Because it was NOT my fault!

RM20.00 from the discounted price of RM24.99 (discounted summor! original price was almost RM40.00! told you no one would buy it!) definitely does not do justice to my innocence! Even RM5.00 would have been too much!!! Hey, I’m innocent here, O-K-A-Y!!!

My colleague paid for the clock and passed it to another colleague. I distanced myself from my colleagues on the way back to the office after that, walking briskly with hot angry tears pooling in my eyes.

Yes, I’m the kind to cry when I’m angry. And I was @#$&^ angry!

Back in the office, I msn-ed my colleague that I’d pay her back tomorrow as I thought I didn’t brought enough money. I even apologized for the trouble. Then she actually told me to my utmost horror that they were planning to hang the cursed thing in the office after another colleague had fixed it!

As if I haven’t had enough of the stupid nonsense!!!

This colleague of mine, as much as I love her during our normal heart-to-heart or even nonsense chat… She just isn’t very sensitive when it comes to dealing with an angry and upset colleague-friend loh!!! She kept hahahaha-ing away when I unleashed my displeasures (to put it mildly) over the cursed thing, and when I practically pleaded her to keep that cursed thing permanently out of my sight, she either ignored me (what!)… told me to take it as a lesson, no matter whose fault it was, that it was just a thing not a human (my foot! so what if it’s a thing not a human?! it’s a painful reminder of something that is NOT my fault!!!)… challenged me to throw it away when I said I would the minute I see it (@#$&^!)… or suddenly dedicatedly told me to do my work!

All the while paying no heed to my hurt feelings!!!

Hot angry tears were rolling from my eyes incessantly the whole time O-K-A-Y!

I turned to the colleague who was tasked to repair the cursed thing, msn-ing him to give it away after he fixed it (with hot angry tears pooling in my eyes again) (what, the tears had wills on their own, okay!). I’ve never felt so grateful to anyone in my life when he said he would, with the condition that I wouldn’t be angry and upset anymore (awww, I really could have hugged him then and there!). He also mentioned that the clocks weren’t hung properly (see, I wasn’t bluffing!), and he made me feel so happy when he called the lady owner an obasan (read: old aunty)! The stupid obasan was not really an old aunty, but who cares?! HRUMPH!

Idiot obasan just lost one potentially good customer too! I was actually mentally bookmarking her shop before all those nonsense, you know! Never am I going to step into the cursed place again! N-E-V-E-R!

HM!

Okay, okay, I’m a BIG CRYBABY. I am not ashamed nor am I proud of it. >.<

And I wanted a watch, not a cursed clock!!!